


I know that she knows that I know.

by BillieTheKid



Category: Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-23
Updated: 2014-05-23
Packaged: 2018-01-26 05:54:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1677185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BillieTheKid/pseuds/BillieTheKid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Random walking dead drabbles : First one is about Daryl and his struggle with wanting the group to know the truth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I know that she knows that I know.

Hell he was a man of few words but that didn’t mean he didn’t get his point across adequately. He was deadly with a crossbow and an overall badass in the eyes of everyone around him. He was stable and unshakable in the face of danger and he had saved everyone’s life more than a couple of times. However he found it funny that no matter how much time he spent with these people and let’s face it that was a lot lately, they never really knew the real Daryl. Sure Rick knew about his past and all the shit he went through and Andrea was more aware of how his mind worked than anyone else but out of everyone in the camp the only person who had come even close to finding out his secret was Carol. Daryl felt a weird obligation to protect and look after her and in return she became like a mother to him, hence the feeling he had that she knew more about him than everyone else. She never explicitly stated that she knew or even had an inkling but the knowing looks she would give him every now and then told a different story. 

He didn’t really know when he realised that he was gay but it just felt natural and who was he to fight his instincts? Whatever chance he had had of coming out before the zombie apocalypse he certainly had none now. Back before everything went to shit he really didn’t care what anyone except Merle would think but now the camp, the 15 or so people he was with they were his family and he couldn’t risk losing them. He was not a man that shared feelings or had heart to heart conversations and that was not going to change. He did think about coming clean but he was plagued with uncertainty and questions: How would Rick react? What about Glen? Would Lori be okay with Carl spending time around him? Would Carol still look at him the same way? The answer to that question he knew, of course she would but the most important question he asked himself over and over again was what would Merle think? Merle who was the full on man’s man that drank beer and liked to fight, that fucked women and never seemed to care what anyone thought of him. How would he react to having a ‘fag’ as a brother? Not well Daryl guessed. 

There had been a couple of guys Daryl had dated before the apocalypse but none had lasted long. They were as tough and emotionally stunted as him and part of him knew he needed someone with a softer touch to really bring out the best in him. If you asked anyone Beth was perfect for him. She was loving and kind hearted, gentle and generous but most of all she was understanding. She never expected anything of him and in his own little way he loved her, just not the way the others wanted. Luckily she had never made any sort of move on him and for that he was thankful. How awkward it would be for both of them and he really didn’t need that right now. 

After months of acting hard and emotionless his inner turmoil was growing and it became harder and harder to wear the mask and hide the truth. Merle was gone now and Daryl didn’t know whether that was a good or bad thing. He had distanced himself from the camp and he had noted the growing concern on the faces of his campmates. He wants to tell them he does but he is stuck for words should he just come out with it or use a metaphor? He’s not sure. He is surprised however when the decision is made for him. He looks up momentarily and catches a glimpse of an approaching figure its carol he knows immediately and he is glad it’s not anyone else. She approaches slow, smiles as a greeting and says the words that at that moment are like the Holy Grail to Daryl:

‘I know Daryl, I know and it’s okay!’ and just like that he’s free


End file.
